[Gabriella the Bitch]

I have had my Virgin Mobile phone for quite nearly a year, or basically since I moved out of state, so quite definitely a year. I remember my first phone call, it was from a bill collection agency calling for a Gabriella. This is where it all begins, the start of my pay as you go strife, and my hatred for Gabriella. Every month or so I'll get a strewn of calls from a [262] area code, or some blocked/unknown number. Every time my loathing for Gabriella worsened. At first I deleted the voicemails I'd received, automated messages reminding me of my past bills, or family members trying to track me down, all messages for a Gabriella who would never receive them. After awhile I started to call these numbers back, even waiting 20 minutes at a time on hold, needing to know who it was and what kind of trouble Gabriella was in. I became obsessed. I would talk to Businesses calling from Job.com, or Milwaukee Jobs themselves, or numerous out of state banks, and even an Irate cousin of hers who screamed for 5 minutes about Missing a birthday party before I could get a word in edgewise. I felt that with each returned call I was getting closer to the end, closer to unraveling the mystery that was Gabriella. sooner or later Gabrielle would have to realize that she no longer had a cell phone, or maybe any family left that liked her enough to call. Or maybe after months and months of never hearing back from applied jobs, she would become a hermit, or a witch in a forest somewhere. Learning magic and cursing the neighborhood children. And finally it would end, I would never hear from estranged and outraged family from which I didn't belong, or Collection agencies, unless they were actually for me, or jobs asking for my call back only to learn they never left an extension number. And Gabriella would never bother me again with her burdens, because everyone knows witches don't use phones.